


i see the cosmos everywhere

by meowy_times



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Im tired, Tags Are Hard, i don’t know, its like angst i guess, soulmates but not really, what are tags again, yamaguchi is just gone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:16:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27587333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowy_times/pseuds/meowy_times
Summary: If Kei had known soulmates existed, he wouldn’t have thought Tadashi to be his. Soulmates don’t exist, they are made up by storytellers and songwriters and best friends. They are something beautiful and ugly; someone you fall right into place with and someone you cannot live without.Kei falls into place with Tadashi easily. At the age of eight, Tadashi joins the elementary volleyball club.Kei cannot live without Tadashi, but now he has to.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	i see the cosmos everywhere

**Author's Note:**

> lets start with, i’m tired and i like to write pretentious shit when i’m tired
> 
> lets continue with i hope you like it, i’m going to sleep now

The first time Kei sees Tadashi, he doesn’t see much at all. Tadashi is pushed to the ground by a boy only three fourths Kei’s height. And Kei contemplates, at the time, if he should just walk away. It isn’t his problem and he doesn’t know the boy on the ground. But something draws him to a stop and Kei pauses, just a few feet from the area. The sound of other children’s laughter as they play rings out in this sudden silence. Kei makes eye contact with Tadashi, and the first time is never extraordinary. 

“Who’s this sixth grader!” One boy raises his arm, holding a stick and waving it around. He glares at Kei, as if he’s walked into something he shouldn’t have. He shouldn’t have. 

“It’s just a third grader,” one of them remarks wryly. “He’s not a threat.” 

Kei wonders for a second, when he had been considered a threat? If anything the other boys were threats, and Kei was just a bystander watching as they beat a freckled boy to the ground. 

“Pathetic.” 

If Kei had known soulmates existed, he wouldn’t have thought Tadashi to be his. Soulmates don’t exist, they are made up by storytellers and songwriters and best friends. They are something beautiful and ugly; someone you fall right into place with and someone you cannot live without. 

Kei falls into place with Tadashi easily. At the age of eight, Tadashi joins the elementary volleyball club. 

Kei cannot live without Tadashi, but now he has to. 

* * *

Kei doesn’t see color the same way now. It’s oddly too dull and too bright at the same time, hurting his eyes and making him squint. Hinata’s hair is a terrible shade of hot orange, the color of orange soda and just as sickly sweet. His couch is a soft blue that feels more like a grey, when it used to look like the summer sky on a nice day. 

Kei’s gotten used to it at this point, but he still isn’t used to seeing Tadashi in the vividest bursts of color; when he walks into the gym every morning and when he walks home each night. But Kei finds Tadashi in all the places he didn’t expect. 

* * *

The volleyball team decides on a whim, to go to the local pool and have fun. Kei finds that disgusting, but Hinata and Nishinoya are leaning over him, like excited dogs watching the cityscape. 

When they arrive, Daichi herds them into the locker rooms and they change. Kei, momentarily forgets that they have girl managers, looks over to see Tanaka and Noya practically drooling at Kiyoko’s feet. Yachi stands beside her and everyone heads out together. 

Kei still lags behind, the sun is shining across the pool causing it to glitter. It’s broken by Noya’s loud battle cry and a painful sounding slap as he hits the water. Then Tanaka laughs, and the moment is lost. 

Kei finds himself sliding into the water, shivering as the cold bites his skin, and allowing Kageyama and Hinata to race him across the pool. They set up on the wall, Daichi pretending to blow a whistle while Suga actually whistles to signal start. Hinata and Kageyama launch off the wall, but Kei doesn’t really care. This isn’t fun to him, and by the tenth stroke, he finds himself fixated on the bottom of the pool instead of the race. 

The sunlight filters through the chlorine and makes bright patterns across white tiles. Kei almost forgets to breathe, watching them move shift between shapes. Looking like a galaxy in teal. It’s bright and vivid and Kei thinks,  _ This is where Tadashi’s been. _

* * *

Kei walks into the gym, only a few minutes later than usual. No one questions him as he changes into practice and pairs off with Kinoshita to block. The first block feels nice, Kinoshita clicks his tongue and glares. Kei smirks, glad he could do his job aggravating the opponent. The sound of his own heart beating fills his head and it’s all he can hear. To be a blocker, to play volleyball, is to always look up. 

Kei thinks sometimes, if his heart beats fast enough, he can hear Tadashi’s voice again. He can utter the same words he’s refused to say. Kei is naturally silent, so no one hears when he whispers it. 

Practice ends later than usual too. Kei is stuck with Hinata and Kageyama again, but they make everything a competition, so soon all the floors are wiped and all the nets taken down. They leave, ignoring Kei as he turns his head upwards. 

Leaning back like this, Kei sees the flaring of electric lights, false stars hanging from the ceiling. He squints, disliking the brightness but unable to look away. It reminds him of Tadashi, blinding and plain but beautiful still.  _ Ah _ , Kei thinks,  _ It makes sense, Tadashi is here too. _

* * *

Kei used to like staying inside, but it feels too cramped, like he’s been holed up and trapped. Documentaries that were his favorite, he can no longer watch because he always wonders what Tadashi would think. Tadashi always found new comments to add in, new light and color Kei could never even think of. 

The baby blue couch in the living room held so many memories and Kei may not remember all of them, but he remembers the ones that count. When Tadashi lost his first tooth by letting Kei pull a string all the way back and Tadashi cried. Kei apologized more than he ever had, panic running through his veins as he tried to stop the bleeding and the crying. When Kei first admitted they were friends, because Tadashi asked, and Tadashi grinned. He smiled so wide and looked so warm, before hugging Kei tight enough to crush his ribs. 

Kei doesn’t like certain documentaries about lions or dinosaurs or the Galapagos anymore, but he likes ones about space. He watches them in the early mornings when he can’t sleep and smiles warmly to himself.  _ Yeah, Tadashi is in this too.  _

* * *

Kei finds that the last time he sees Tadashi, it’s more extraordinary than he could’ve imagined. The world is less polarized than it was, and Hinata’s hair is no longer an eyesore. The couch looks more blue than grey. 

The team walks back from getting meat buns at Ukai’s shop and they talk while eating. Kei has his own bag of steaming meat buns, but he isn’t thinking about them right now. Instead, his gaze is turned upwards, towards the sky. 

The cosmos is a wide and ever-expanding thing, but Kei has never seen something as expansive as this. There are no stars yet in the pitch black sky. Kei knows they’ll show up. And they do, thousands of dots and pinpricks of lights, apparent as his eyes adjust to the dark. Scattered across the night, like freckles, are diamonds, and Kei thinks,  _ Tadashi is always here then. _

**Author's Note:**

> yup there ya go
> 
> idk yamaguchi just died on us, sorry
> 
> also i had loverman stuck in my head while doing this
> 
> wow wow wow


End file.
